I Saw Her

I saw her.

Again.

Today.

Just like a clam, she is just too soft, flimsy, and subdued inside. Being fake, she got herself covered by a massive hard shelter. And as a clam, all these while, she has been trying to protect herself from her surroundings with the shell. One which makes people fooled and mistaken her for a heartlessly vicious person.

She can not trust.

She can not love.

She can not trust, not that she doesn’t want to. She’s just too afraid to lose, being wrecked by her own faith. She always sees trust as a betting. You really have to carefully put the right amount of it, for you’ll never know how it’s going to work. 

Once, she ever put a huge amount of a bet. But the game was just being such a fuck up. So she lost all the bet. Then her shell grows and grows to be more difficult to penetrate afterwards. She never means it intentionally, it just gradually grows. Rigid and dense. However, it’s just for the sake of her survival.

She can not love, not that she’s not capable of it. She’s just too afraid to fall apart, being damaged by her own sense. When it comes to love, she always pictures it as a poker game. You never know what your opponent’s hiding beneath, for in a poker game, everyone is a good actor with strategy.

Once, she ever tried to play it low. No strategy, no ambition. All the cards she got- she revealed them all on the table. And what followed, she just lost all of her chips. The next thing she remembered was her shell turned to be much harder and harder to open. She never plans nor wants it though. Again, it’s just for the sake of her survival.

She can not trust.

She can not love.

She never liked it to be always covered, camouflaged, and sheltered. But then she chose to stay inside, rather than to freely swim around the sea. Indeed, she’s vulnerable. Much vulnerable.

She can’t afford some trust and love. No, she can’t handle the damage cost.

But she keeps on denying. Though from inside her massively rigid shell.

I saw her.

Today.

Somebody just brought her back.

Advertisements

One thought on “I Saw Her

  1. I don’t see many comments here, it means you have not many visitors. I know how to make your website go viral. If you want to know simply search in google for:
    Kimting’s Method To Go Viral

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s