Akhirnya Menikah, dan Ini Lesson Learnt dari Pernikahan Beserta Segala Persiapannya

Long story short; minggu lalu, 19 April 2018, saya resmi menikah dengan Andi.

Katanya menikah itu semacam ‘naik tingkat’ dalam kehidupan, jadi wajar kalau sebelum naik kelas, ya ada aja ‘ujian’nya. Denger-denger sih begitu. Yang pasti kalau pusing-pusing menjelang hari H pernikahan karena disibukkan dengan berbagai persiapannya, itu wajar. Ngga perlu dianggap ujian kehidupan lah ya 😛 sepertinya dalam segala sesuatu, termasuk pekerjaan pun yang namanya tantangan dan ujian kesabaran pasti ada.

Try google ‘persiapan menikah’, then you’ll find a very long list of articles talking aboutPersiapan Pernikahan yang Bisa Kamu Cicil Jauh-Jauh Hari’, ‘Inilah 25 Persiapan Sebelum Menikah yang Harus Anda Lakukan’, ‘Setahun Persiapan Menjelang Pernikahan’, etc etc etc.

Fyuh, baca judulnya aja udah capek.

Saya memutuskan untuk membuka salah satu web article yang disuggest oleh Google pada halaman pertama. Ada salah satu artikel yang menulis seperti ini;

“Menikah adalah saat penting dan bersejarah yang diimpikan oleh setiap manusia. Mengalami pernikahan terindah dalam hidup tentu yang diharapkan. Keinginan untuk mewujudkan pesta pernikahan yang tak terlupakan bukan hanya bagi Anda dan pasangan, namun juga berkesan bagi semua tamu undangan yang hadir.”

Waw, doktrin alert.

Ya ngga sih? Sadar ngga sadar, di Indonesia, kita semacam dijejali oleh paradigma bahwa menikah itu sekali seumur hidup maka prosesi adat dan selebrasinya harus dipersiapkan dengan sangat matang, we have to make the most of it, and spread the joy with as many as possible. Apa iya, harus seperti itu?

Dulu banget cita-cita saya sama sepupu saya waktu kami masih kecil adalah ngikutin jejaknya Rosalinda (eh atau Esperanza?) yang di salah satu episodenya ada adegan menikah di catatan sipil. Nikah, sah, happily ever after. Catering mana catering? Ga ada, mungkin sambil nunggu di kantor catatan sipil, tamu yang hadir cukup dikasih nasi box humble + cemilan taco. Bibi Isabella sama Paman Juan ga diundang? Ngga apa, kasian mereka kalau harus terbang dari Guatemala ke Mexico hanya untuk itu.

Tapi seliberal-liberalnya prinsip kita dalam menikah di Indonesia, rasanya tidak akan mudah untuk sebebas itu dalam ‘berkreasi’ dalam selebrasi pernikahan. — Yah di samping case tadi hanyalah di telenovela belaka yes.

Postingan blog ini bukanlah bertujuan untuk menceritakan proses selebrasi pernikahan saya dan Andi, bukan juga untuk memberikan tips dalam mempersiapkan pernikahan dan memilih vendor. Saya memutuskan untuk  menulis artikel ini, cuma untuk membagikan apa yang saya alami menjelang dan sesaat setelah pernikahan, yang mungkin juga dialami oleh sebagian besar muda mudi tanah air Endonesa yang akan dan baru saja menikah. Again, ngga ada betul atau salah ya 🙂

Kuncinya adalah; Maintaining The Expectations

Jujur, beberapa tahun yang lalu, saya sempat berada di fase ‘kalau bisa menikah ya syukur, kalau ngga ya baiklah’. Mungkin hal inilah yang membuat saya tidak terlalu menaruh ekspektasi berlebih dalam selebrasi pernikahan.

Ketika orang tua saya bicara bahwa bagi mereka yang harus ada hanyalah runtutan prosesi adat Jawa dan akad, then saya dan Andi menyetujui. Acara ini hanya acara kecil dengan kehadiran keluarga dan sahabat terdekat (yang mohon maaf, sudah rela direpotkan karena harus cuti). Terlebih lagi, berdasarkan perhitungan tanggal weton Jawa yang disarankan (dan kami manut saja lah), pernikahan kami harus jatuh di hari Kamis.

Baik. Kamis adalah hari ker?? …jaaa.

Dalam waktu yang cukup singkat (sekitar 4 bulan persiapan) dibanding dengan beberapa teman yang lain, mungkin tidak terlalu banyak pritilan yang kami siapkan untuk hari H. Saya dan Andi pun sedang dalam situasi packed banget di kantor, bahkan sekitar 1-2 minggu sebelum hari H, saya masih ikutan assist shooting iklan kantor sampai pagi, dan Andi masih sempat ambil race Powerman 10km lari, 60km sepeda, dan 10km lari lagi.

Paham betul kalau saat menikah, kita invest uang dalam nominal ngga main-main, invest waktu dengan menyempatkan diri mengurus persiapan hingga harus cuti kerja, dan lainnya. Kadang ini juga yang membuat kita menaruh ekspektasi, supaya hasilnya at least harus sebanding dengan usaha yang kita keluarkan untuk persiapan. Ekspektasi ini dalam hal apapun ya, kelancaran acara, kesempurnaan hasil kerja vendor,  ketepatan waktu, dan lainnya.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, seorang sahabat saya sempat cerita. Doi baru aja kondangan ke Bali. Teman kantornya menikah. Tipikal wedding di Bali, venuenya outdoor dan Instagram-ready betul dekornya. Tetiba, hujan deras lah, hingga sepanjang acara. Akhirnya pelaminannya pun pindah ke area dalam, dengan dekorasi seadanya, karena set yang direncanakan sepenuhnya ada di area outdoor.

Kebayang ngga, berapa banyak investasinya yang akhirnya ga berbalik sesuai dengan ekspektasi?

Sedih pasti iya. Tapi, di luar itu semua, bukan berarti acaranya gagal. After all esensi menikah yang seutuhnya adalah the fact bahwa kamu dan pasangan sudah ‘sah’ dan leveling up menuju kehidupan yang baru.

Oh iya, maintaining ekspektasi juga termasuk untuk bersikap legowo, menerima input dan masukan permintaan dari berbagai sumber yang terlibat dalam acara pernikahan. Niscaya, langka sekali terjadinya pernikahan ala Indonesia yang segala sesuatunya bisa 100% ditentukan oleh CPP dan CPWnya aja. Kalau kamu termasuk salah satu dari kaum minoritas tersebut, bersyukurlah kalian.

“Well, it’s not all about the realm of perfection, the event, the wedding dress, the decor, and stuff. At the end those are just some small parts of your life celebration, on the first day, of your marriage, that you’ll be having for the rest of your life :)” – Olga, 26th, baru menikah. 2018.

Drama Menjelang Pernikahan Pasti Adaaa Aja. Mitos atau Bukan?

Saya dan teman semeja saya di kantor menikah cuma dalam selisih hitungan minggu. Slentingan bodoh  macam ini sering kami lontarkan; ‘Kusut banget pagi-pagi? Lagi berantem ya?’ atau ‘Pusing gue, masih ada aja yang belom kelar’.

Ribut sama calon menjelang hari H?

Kalo kata orang; ‘ya namanya juga diuji, sebelum berumah tangga

Kalo kata saya; ‘namanya CPW CPP pasti sama-sama capek, wajar jadinya mood senggol bacok’.

Bayangin gini; kamu sehari hari udah repot sama kegiatan sehari-hari di kantor, tiba-tiba ketambahan nih ngurusin kepanitiaan ‘pernikahan’, ngga cuma jadi panitia — terkadang sebagian juga berperan ganda menjadi donatur dan investor acara. Belum lagi, di acara ini juga bisa melibatkan dua organisasi besar, yaitu keluarga kamu dan keluarga calonmu.

In a real life, kalo kamu baperan sama rekan kerja kamu bisa mempersulit situasi, nah bayangin kalo rekan kerja kepanitiaan ini adalah calonmu, yang ngga mungkin kalo ngga bawa-bawa perasaan. Ya kan?

Jadi kesimpulannya? WAJAR kalau ada drama yang tiba-tiba nongol.

Kalau saya, case-nya adalah Andi yang kalo ngomong kadang terlalu logis, dan saya lumayan lembek (tapi batu, nah gimana ya?). Bete-betean? Sempet. Untungnya ga sampe berjam-jam. At the end, TRUST ME; sama-sama sadar aja lah kalau ini cuma bawaan capek aja, dan masih banyak hal penting yang harus dilakuin ketimbang nurutin drama.

Yang ngga kalah penting adalah: STOP second guessing, macem gini: ‘is she/he the one? Kok menjelang nikah malah ragu karena banyak ribut?’ — Bokk, coba look back! Apa aja yang udah kalian lalui sampai akhirnya kalian ada di titik ini sekarang? Ribut menjelang pernikahan kadang cuma macem jerawat hormon menjelang haid. Ngga usah dipecahin, setelah hari H juga ntar ilang sendiri.

Hindari Peer Pressure

Pernikahan adalah peluang bisnis yang menggiurkan di negeri kita. Kita patut berterimakasih pada teknologi yang mempermudah kita untuk mengakses portal-portal referensi pernikahan seperti Bridestory dan sejenisnya. Bayangkan kengasalan saya, ketika saya memutuskan untuk mencari dan memilih vendor untuk dekorasi nikahan saya kemarin dari hasil Googling wkwk, syukurnya semua berjalan aman dan lancar.

Vendor MUA, designers, photographers, dan lainnya pun amat sangat mudah kita temukan di Instagram. Tapi coba, jangan putuskan segala sesuatunya cuma karena peer pressure ya.

Ada beberapa teman saya yang menikah di tahun ini, dan ketika kita berbincang soal kebaya pengantin, salah satu mengaku bahwa harga kebaya jahitannya di salah satu designer ternama senilai 28 juta, salah satu teman pun berujar ‘mahal banget, aku aja cuma 7 juta’.

Yes, betul-betul ga ada standarnya untuk soal perbudgetan nikahan. Sesuaikan aja sama keinginan dan kemampuan serta kerelaan kamu untuk spend berapa.

To be frankly, untuk kebaya, saya bikin 2 — untuk malam midodareni, dan untuk akad. Untuk menjahit kedua kebaya itu, in total saya keluar uang ngga sampai 5 juta!

Kenapa bisa murah? Karena saya ngga mau pakai payet. Dan bagi saya, kebaya nikahan cuma dipakai super sebentar, jadi ya udah mending saya larikan dananya untuk hal yang lain 😛

Asliii, dari awal saya kepikiran cuma mau gaya klasik untuk kebaya nikahan, kebaya kutu baru, tanpa payet, dengan stagen jumputan.

Waktu awal memutuskan untuk membuat kebaya dengan model seperti itu dan tanpa payet, mulai dari penjahit sampai sepupu saya mengatakan ‘yakin, ngga mau pakai payet?’, sampai si Tante Dewi pun berujar ‘fitting finalnya besok sambil kamu lihat ya, sudah puas, atau perlu pakai payet?’.

Akhirnya saat fitting final, saya pun puas dengan hasilnya. Tanpa payet 🙂 By the way, ini foto kebaya akad saya;

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At the end, ini soal pilihan dan preferensi. Ngga ada benar atau salahnya. Jangan sampe peer-pressure ya ketika mempersiapkan segala sesuatu terkait pernikahan.

Nurutin Insta-worthy Wedding Trend, Worth It Ga Sih?

Iya, paham, buibu pak bapak, bahwa Instagram adalah sebagian dari nyawa. Sebagai salah satu momen terpenting dalam hidup, yakin banget kalau pernikahan, maupun pre-weddingnya, sampe post-wedding or honeymoonnya sebisa mungkin bisa kita jadiin Insta-material 😛

All hail masa-masa kejayaan, di mana engagement rate konten Instagram terkait lamaran dan pernikahan menjadi yang paling tinggi. Mana suaranya yang posting pas poto latar biru di Instagramnya? — SAYAAAA!

Adanya tren Instagram yang visual banget ini akhirnya cukup menggeser anggapan bahwa selebrasi pernikahan itu not only to impress tamu undangan yang hadir, namun juga para netijen sejagat maya. Akhirnya muncullah banyak request macam ‘Dekornya harus yang rustic-rustic Instagramable ya,’ atau ‘Foto prewednya udah bisa diminta soft filenya satu duluan ngga? Buat update Instagram nih,’. Which is sangat wajar, saya pun sebagai vendor foto yang juga menerima jasa foto prewedding dan wedding — iye jualan dikittt, ya seneng-seneng aja dan ga merasa direpotkan samsek, dengan adanya kebutuhan trend ini.

Yang menjadi masalah adalah ketika sadar ngga sadar, kita jadi idealis, dan maunya harus mengikuti trend ini. Akhirnya kita aim for perfection, of the Insta-worthy wedding. Jujur, kadang kita perlu realistis dan menggeser idealisme kita dalam berbagai hal, termasuk juga dalam selebrasi pernikahan.

Janji yaa, ketika ada suatu hal yang akhirnya membuat rencana kita tidak sesuai harapan, ya jangan drop. Contohnya adalah cerita sahabat saya, yang dateng ke sebuah nikahan di Bali, dengan dekor outdoor wedding yang super Instagramable — lalu sepanjang acara diguyur hujan deras. Sedih pasti lah. Tapi at the end, bukannya yang paling membuat kita bahagia di hari H adalah ke-absah-an kita dengan pasangan, di atas segala-galanya? 😉

Jaga Kesehatan Ngga Kalah Pentingnya dari Jagain Vendor

Trust meeee, kalo mau ga pusing sama nikahan, maintain ekspektasi itu penting! Jangan terlalu idealis, percayalah kesempurnaan itu hanyalah milik Yang Maha Esa. Jadi jangan dibawa stres ya perfeksionisnya.

Saya paham betul perasaan stres dan cemas ketika mempersiapkan pernikahan, apalagi untuk yang pada dasarnya selalu aktif dan ga bisa tinggal diam. Saya sempat agak stres menjelang pernikahan, karena sedang banyak pikiran juga di luar persiapan pernikahan, which mostly hanya karena kecemasan saya sendiri. Sering banget breakout mulai dari tiba-tiba nangis, jerawat keluar, rambut rontok pun saya alami hueheue. Agree, kalau stressed out dan anxiety segitu ngefeknya dengan kesehatan. Nah, meski kita mati-matian nyiapin acara dan jagain vendor, jangan sampe kesehatan tubuh ini jadi sesuatu yang taken for granted ya.

Sepupu saya sekitar dua tahun yang lalu sempat viral di jejaring sosial dan LINE today, karenaaa.. pada saat hari resepsi pernikahannya, mempelai prianya justru harus dilarikan ke rumah sakit karena drop DBD. Jadilah sepupu saya melangkah dan duduk di pelaminan seorang diri hingga acara selesai, dan setelahnya langsung menyusul si suami ke rumah sakit. Untungnya sehari sebelumnya mereka sudah melaksanakan pemberkatan, jadi sudah sahih ya sebagai suami istri.

Sepupu saya pun cerita betapa pas hari H sebetulnya banyak hal yang mengecewakan dari sisi vendor, seperti warna dekorasi yang tidak sesuai dan lain-lain, tapi at the end, bukan itu yang essentialBecause the idea of you getting married with the man/woman you love the most, adalah yang paling inti.

Tentang Bulan Madu, Baiknya ke Mana sih?

Sebelum kami memutuskan destinasi honeymoon, saya sempat ngobrol dengan beberapa teman terkait rencana honeymoon. Ada beberapa paham;

Honeymoon mesti quality time, cari tempat romantis, kayak Maldives gitu,

Kayaknya gue oke aja deh kalo honeymoon gue nanti cuma di Jakarta, staycation, yang penting bareng,

Honeymoon gue mau wujudin keinginan calon gue, dia pengen banget ke Disneyland Paris,

Baik.

Beda-beda betul? Ngga ada yang kasih standar kok honeymoon itu harus ke tempat seperti apa. Atau kalau belum berkesempatan untuk honeymoon setelah menikah? Ya ngga apa-apa juga, you have the rest of your life!!

Saya dan Andi sempat berpikir bodoh. Kami berencana untuk roadtrip pulau Jawa (apeee?) untuk honeymoon kami. Tapi tentu saja niat ini diurungkan karena kebayang ngga sih, gempornya kayak apa nyetir berdua? Bulan madu apa bulan Ramadhan, kok kayak mudik?

Baiklah, lalu niat bergeser final jadi ke Hanoi, Vietnam. Beli tiketnya sekitar semingguan sebelum hari H menikah, dan berangkat di H+2 menikah. Impulsif, mepet pula.

Kenapa Hanoi? Beberapa dari followers di Instagram menanyakan hal ini ketika saya share cerita tentang trip kami ini. Alasannya adalah; dari dulu kami kepingin banget ASEAN trip. Sayangnya cuti kami tidak panjang daaan.. jujur setelah menikah kami harus menabung hehehe (ini juga penting! habis nikah jangan habis-habisan buat pesta dan bulan madu ya, yang di depan lebih challenging dan we’ll never know what will be happen), jadilah kami ke Hanoi. Surprisingly we fell in love with Hanoi! Karena semua di sana relatif murah meriah, liburan kita jadi lumayan berasa fancy heheh.

Hanoi mungkin bukan destinasi utama untuk orang berbulan madu, beberapa orang pun bertanya kenapa pilih Hanoi, but we really enjoyed it though. Percaya deh, ngga ada guideline dalam memilih destinasi bulan madu. Sesuaikan dengan destinasi favorit kalian berdua, selama waktu dan budgetnya pas, then go ahead!

Inhale, Exhale; This Too Shall Pass

Ujung-ujungnya, ya kalimat ini yang terus jadi pegangan saya selama menjelang hari H. ‘Yaudahlah ya’. Kalau ada yang tanya ‘Gimana perasaannya? Deg-degan ngga? Ga sabar ya?’, saya cuma menyahut ‘Ga sabar kelar persiapan dan acaranya aja sih,’.

Seperti apa rasanya setelah proses selebrasi pernikahan selesai? Rasa syukur. Serius, hal-hal yang dipusingkan atau diributkan menjelang persiapan pernikahan itu langsung ngga ada artinya dalam sekejap.

Gini deh, kalo dalam proses persiapannya, kamu ngerasa capek dan stres banget, coba inget-inget perjalanan kamu dan pasangan sampai kamu bisa sampai di tahap ini. Coba inget juga, doa dulu yang kamu panjatkan kepada Tuhan untuk mendekatkan kamu dengan jodohmu, sekarang sudah di depan mata jawabannya 🙂

At the end, the fact that you’re married to someone you love is the real celebration of life.

Just don’t let small stuff ruin your happiness! Congratulations for all of us 🙂

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Being in A Quarter-Life Crisis, at It’s Peak

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Dear you millennials, slash quarter-life crisis sufferers, slash ‘I-have-ambitions-but-my-life-is-too-screwed-up‘ kind of person, this article was written for you. Well, okay; for us. I decided to pour it down as a note, so I can read it again on one cloudy day, to remind me that I once had a clear perspective about all these issues.

I’m about to turn 26 in the next couple of weeks, sooo if you’re looking for an enlightenment, no. You will not find it here, as this article was just written by a  woman juggling between full time and freelance job at the same time, feeling that she still has a lot of unaccomplishment, still on the stage of finding her true calling. Sounds familiar? Well, please allow me to initiate a virtual group hug.

That One Big Question We Are All Dealing with

In my 25 years of life, I’ve been worrying a lot. I keep 60% of it in silence and pour down the rest 40% to the closest person. (If you happened to ever see me worrying, trust me it was only 40% of it, and I still kept the larger portion for myself). Now that I look back, the root cause of my worries is just some unnecessary stuff my mind created, which is mostly either about the unknown or the future. And as a quarter-life crisis sufferer, just like millions of you, the biggest thing to worry about, for me right now is still;

“Am I walking on the right path?”

I know, I know, that question can lead to unrealistic thought and irrational fear. The thing I always forget every time I got struck by a hard situation, is that indeed we should not be too worry about it, as long as we still hold the steering wheel to hit the road. And while you drive, you either enjoy it or feel burdened by how bumpy the road is. Even though you drive towards the same destination, the way you feel about it can make a lot of difference. We’re worrying too much about the result, that we often forget to take a glimpse to enjoy the process.

Process is underrated. We always look forward to the end goal, and forget that ‘the process’ it is which builds us. I think another #101 about how to stop being worried of the unknown is by being present and appreciating our progress. No one prohibits you to celebrate your progress. It’s an achievement too. Treat yourself when you made a small leap such as when you successfully finished a report that drained your energy for almost a week. You deserve it!

Back to the big question “Am I walking on the right path?” – I don’t know.

But, “Am I heading to the right direction?” – I suppose yes, as long as you do agree with the next following paragraph in this article below..

You Might Need to Find Those Dots You Need to Connect

I’ve been always a believer of ‘connecting-the-dots’ theory. I never regret any steps I took in my entire life so far. When I told people that I was graduated from Architecture Engineering, and now that I’m diving in marketing realm, lots of people asking me those two words; why and how. Long story short, I connect the dots, and all of them just help me to shape which direction I want to take.

The direction doesn’t just easily pop out. Lucky, if you’re already sure that you’ve found it in your early step. Sometimes, it just comes along with the things you are doing. And if along the way you decided to reroute to another direction, it is never wrong! Believe me, that sometimes, you just need a direction solely for the sake of short term flame; to keep you motivated to start your day, at least.

Comparing Has Never Been A Good Ideda

Now let’s take a step back to track down your path all along.

We walk, we run, at our own pace, just make sure that you keep on moving forward. And just because for now we seem to have a slower pace than others, doesn’t mean that we’re doing it wrong. Well unless you know you’re on a slow pace mode, and you’re starting to compare your life with others, yet you do nothing and to make yours better, – that is wrong. Comparison is a toxic. People’s life can’t be measured in linearity, as we got our own stories. What you see on the surface might be different with what’s they keep beneath. Like doing a window shopping on a bookstore with foreign language you don’t understand, all you can do is just ‘judge it by the cover‘. However cover don’t tell the whole stories within, that it possibly just deceives you.

Or, imagine when you see a big random house when you commute with car. You admire the building, the garden, even those cute dogs they own, you even compare it with a small flat you own. But you don’t know the story, who’s in that house, what they do, the struggle they made to be able to own such a house, even whether they feel content or not with the things they have right now.

That is why to compare is exhausting. It’s all just a surface that you can see.

A friend of mine claimed that his life is not as lucky as his peers, in terms of financial and career. But in the other hand, one of his ‘financially-lucky’ peers, feels that money and title are nothing compared to the envious feeling he has everytime he hears some stories about the other peers talking about how they spend their time with their spouse or family. Well, sometimes in life you just can’t choose your fate, that the only thing you can do is to deal and be fine with the reality. So everytime you start to compare, remember that at least there’s another person out there, who’s dying to have a life just like yours. What I learn lately, is however great other people’s lives seem out there, sometimes it just doesn’t validate that they feel fulfilled and content more than you.

Well, of course, sometimes I still need to learn on how stop comparing and complaining too. Cheers!

Those Magic Words; Go Follow Your Pas……..

They said, fulfillment is all we, as human, need at the first place. Well, we’re living in the era where we’re provoked to seek for fulfillment above all the things in the world. Yet, I’m too tired of reading articles and books yelling us that the way to achieve the real fulfillment in life is by ‘following your passion’ or ‘finding your true meaning of life’. Fulfillment for me has no limit. As Maslow’s famous hierarchy told us that we, as human, always expect to level up for each stage of needs that we’ve achieved. See, all these decades, we’ve been bombarded by the paradigm that fulfillment is all about the achievement, and that finding and living your passion another thing you need to achieve in order to feel fulfilled.

What if some of us were born without a true calling? What about a friend of mine who’s very talented in art but has no other choice rather than dealing with 9-6 job as a PR, due to the need financial security and parents’ expectation? Or what if you’re being average in every little thing here and there?

Aside of millions of privileges our generation have, we, millennials are told that we are special. We are claimed as the true entrepreneur generation. We’re the generation that comes as a fruit from our parent’s hard work. They struggled a lot to ensure that we have a better life, and when we’re all grown up, we have this privilege to live our own life. Choosing our favorite study in college, starting our own business, working as an employee in startup company, hanging out with friends after hours. Well those are some privileges that perhaps your parents couldn’t afford in their younger days. Now at least let’s be grateful first to be born as a millennialist.

But do all millennials have to be driven by passion in every step and every breathe they take? What if passion is just a thing that we have to build within, so we can feel enjoy and less burdened with anything we have on our plate right now? Good for you if you’re now having your passion as your daily job, am happy for you! Well I’m also happy for those who have their passion as a hobby on a leisure time, as an escape from their full time job as a corporate employee. But it’s okay, if you’re not, or haven’t finding your passion yet. Just because you haven’t found your true calling, doesn’t mean you’re failing as a millennial. You live, you have a job to pay for your living cost, you are fine, at least for now. And as long as you don’t give up about your life, I assume you can manage to make your future to be just fine too.

So Here’s My Two Cents…

Mastering life has never been so easy, we all know that shit just happens sometimes. Even God put the learning that human’s life is full of obstacles and trials since the lives of Adam and Eve. It’s clichè, but all we got to do is just…. surviving, and never stop moving forward, even barriers and obstacles can even help to point out the way we should take. That is why, just focus on what you’re doing right now, have the very best version of you in present, and if you haven’t found the direction yet, trust me you will find one along the way.

Just because you still don’t know your true calling, just because you feel that you’re slower in making a progress compared to others (no.. stop comparing!), or just because you feel you haven’t achieved anything in life (though in fact you’re able to manage to live your life with your own – it’s an achievement!), well it doesn’t mean your world stop revolving now and after.

It has never been an overnight process.

But it always worth the wait and effort.

You’re not failing 🙂

 

And The Beginning was An End of Everything

stv

This is a story about a girl, a guy, and the inevitable truth about a journey.

*

She was just one of those girls who took 7am train to downtown.

 

This bookworm was a cat person,

At anytime she just loved her own companion.

 

She never wore anything other than black.

She always kept her long brunette hair braided to the back.

 

Coffee was her one and only addiction.

Right there before she knew about affection.

 

She knew nothing about love and desire to be loved.

She called people crazy to worship each other just to feel loved.

 

Truth be told, she had never really loved someone before.

*

He was just one of those guys who took 7am train to downtown.

 

He never liked cat, or any other animals, except those that fly.

As he was just one of them, oh social butterfly.

 

He got a pair of mysterious deep blue eyes.

The ones that his pals called it ‘as cold as ice’.

 

He couldn’t let a day wasted without packs of cigarette,

Like he never got bored of silently watching that brunette.

 

Seeing that strange brunette every morning grew his curiosity more and more.

And he enjoyed it, just like having the waves quenching his shore.

 

But deep down, he was not sure of his ability to love anymore.

*

It was a busy morning train.

And on weekdays, no one ever loved 7am rain.

 

Grumpy faces here and there.

Evaporated into the gloomy atmosphere.

 

And when he entered the train, he saw her right away,

She was reading a book, it was Nietzche’s ‘The Birth of Tragedy’.

 

Under the circumstance, they sat beside each other that day.

The brunette girl and the blue eyed guy finally said ‘hi’.

 

That was the beginning yet the end of everything in their previous lives.

*

And after fifty minutes of talk and laughters,

They exchanged their numbers.

 

And after two days text,

They decided to bring it to the next.

 

And after two dates and a morning train to work skipped,

They kissed.

 

And after thirty kisses,

She knew that she could love someone and had desire of affection, afterall she was no heartless.

 

And after thirty kisses,

He knew that he could love someone again, real one, other than just a summer fling.

 

And after dozens of ‘i love you’s and hugs.

He learnt to get used to play with her cats.

 

And after five sleepless nights they had together,

She followed him into his nightlife and becoming one of those avid party goers.

 

And after ten parties they attended,

She couldn’t live without cigars and a silver Zippo from him with her name embossed.

 

And after hundreds of cigarette butts they shared,

He learnt to enjoy coffee, and her addiction to it had been overpassed.

 

And after fifty cups of coffee they shared,

She stopped wearing black and let her long brunette hair unraveled.

 

And after days of her unraveling her brunette hair,

He started to read Nietzche.

 

So that was the way it was.

That was the beginning yet the end of everything in their previous lives.

*

Then she, became a social butterfly.

And he, talked about philosophy.

That was the beginning yet the end of everything in their previous lives.

*

And after hundreds days of laugh,

There they encountered some fight and sigh.

 

And when a kiss lost its power to fix the fights,

Then they knew the affection they once had for each other had gone from their sights.

*

It was a busy morning train.

And on weekdays, no one ever loved 7am rain.

 

Grumpy faces here and there.

Evaporated into the gloomy atmosphere.

 

And when she entered the train, she saw him right away.

He was reading a book, it was Nietzche’s ‘On The Genealogy of Morality’.

 

Under the circumstance, they sat beside each other that day.

The brunette girl and the blue eyed guy decided to keep the silence between and stay.

 

Fifty minutes had gone, and the train stopped at its last destination.

They went out without any words, heads full of contemplation.

 

He took the right way, and bowed to stroke a wild cat he saw sitting on train platform’s bench.

 

She took the left way, walked and waved to some group of friends waiting for her while lighting her cigarette.

*

So that was the beginning yet the end of everything in their previous lives.

Wasn’t it just like a journey on a train?

When you embark, it would be either you started your new journey or ended one.

And when the train stopped and you went out, it was either you just ended your journey or started a new one.

* * *